Jitterbug went out with a bang. “We can go and do it by the elevator if you want,” he said on his way out.
Happy father’s day to all the baby daddies out there. Here’s some light reading for ya.
This is just special.
Long story short: Your girl here went to get a “tattoo” while she was in Belgium. I don’t know if she was high on waffles or what, but she ended up with 56 stars on her face.
According to the article, she had asked for THREE stars and then “fell asleep”. When she woke up, her face was its own constellation. Frivolous lawsuits ensue.
In typical “me” fashion, I have a couple of issues with this little fiasco. First, and perhaps most glaringly obvious, how do you “sleep” through getting ANY kind of tattoo. I’m sorry, but you can’t just sleep through getting a tattoo – especially ON YOUR FACE! I don’t care who you are. And if you even try to suggest that you have, you’re full of flaming bullocks.
Then, in the article, Little Dipper girl here admits that she looks like a “circus freak”. Yes, yes you do.
UPDATE: Starry Eyed Surprise here has admitted she lied — like we never saw THAT coming.
This one was all me. “I can get it in but it’s at the wrong angle.”
“The rear is manual ONLY”, declared Jitterbug — and it’s only Monday.
This is the best one I’ve heard in quite some time: “Does your mom like action?” asked Creature. Let the”Jeff’s mom” jokes commence.
Is it wrong of me to think that I only owe MY mom a “Happy Mother’s Day” and that everyone else’s mom is their own problem? Probably, huh? Fine…
“Happy Mama Day” to all my mama friends out there all across mama Earth!
“Golden Girl” Bea Arthur has moved up to the retirement home in the sky. (tear)
After a long, long, long night at the hospital, Mason Terry Bumgarner was born at some un-Godly hour in the middle of the night. The details are fuzzy at this point because I haven’t slept, but everyone is doing great, and the little guy will be out breakin’ hearts in no time.
Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
Because he didn’t want the other bunnies to know that he was fooling around with the chickens.
