RAL

Today is her birthday.

I learned a new word today: LIMINAL

Spaces

Carla and I met up for a drink in the middle of the afternoon yesterday at the 8th St Wine Cellar.  It was just as I like it: empty.  Towards the end we realized we were hungry so we shared a cheese plate.  Very satisfying.

The other day Ken's friend Craig took us to dinner at Soho House. I was expecting it to be loud and boisterous but it was (other than the rooftop) quite the opposite.  I loved it.  It was for NY, uncharacteristically comfortable.  There was a guy working on his laptop in the lounge on a long wooden table.  It was almost midnight.  He looked up at all of us when we walked into the room and his computer screen was reflected in his glasses, his eyes had that glaze of being totally immersed in a project.  I liked it.

Dream

Yesterday Ken and I went to see Inception finally.  I loved it.  I also liked  this from a  New York Magazine article : Regret is the idea that defines Cobb (which makes his recurrent use of the Edith Piaf song “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” as a musical countdown to the end of a given dream rather ironic and touching), and in order for him to be free, he has to defeat it. 

Last night I had the most vivid dream I've had in awhile.  I woke up and we were in our bedroom in Lanikai.  I was filled with relief at being back: the sunshine in the room, the reflection of the light orange drapes on the white walls... I took a breath and I thought oh, it doesn't smell so different, I wasn't so far away.

I don't know what I miss.  I don't want to go back.  I want my life to be here.  I don't know why it still makes me sad.

Mayonnaise

To paraphrase my dear Beth, I'm ready for this summer of malaise to end.  Though I think we're still at the beginning of the season. When does Summer end?  August? September? 

I was getting ready to meet a friend for a last minute drink the other day.  I'd been in the same outfit all day and hadn't washed my hair.  I didn't look particularly bad but I hadn't even tried to spruce myself up.  I asked Ken if I looked like a schlump.  He gave me a once over and said 'no...you like like a poet who's got other things to think about.'

I thought that was mainly nice... even though it's how I look almost every day.

Only when I think of it.

KK: ARE YOU FEELING SAD ABOUT HAWAII STILL? 

NB: are you working or over emphasizing?  

KK: WORKING 

7:47 PM  

KK: SO ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER? 

NB: 

oh
sorry

i was thinking abt my question to you that i forgot your question to me
oh um i miss it alot less
except
when i think about it  

KK: :( 

NB: :)  

KK: I HAVE TO GO SOON 

NB: ok  

7:52 PM 

NB: i mean i dont think about it too often
i think about it alot alot less
but its kind of like a relationship
when i think about certain thins
ithins  

KK: I LIKE THAT ANALOGY 

NB: it hurts  

KK: :(
it's an amazing place
and you had an amazing life there  

NB: yeah

What's the Good Gnus?

Something clicked for me this weekend.  I'm back in EN WHY (der) and happy to be.  We had a great weekend and saw lots of different people.  One night we were at Blue Note to see a show Ken's friend produced and a singer named Maya and a trumpet player, Maurice, made a surprise guest appearance.  They had the whole room vibrating.  There was a moment that I was dancing in my chair and much like great poetry performances from the past I felt one with the song and the notes and I felt like I knew what was coming next.  I want more of that.