Your boy, Punxsutawney Phil, came out of his little winter sanctuary again today! They say, though, that he saw his shadow and ran his cute little groundhog booTAY right back in again.

My question is: Did Phil run back into his little hole because he saw his shadow, or because he saw THESE two circus clowns again? I’m just sayin, I don’t think I’d be too thrilled to wake up for the first time in months and see these nut jobs, complete with their top hats and handlebar mustaches, not to mention the paparazzi, tryin’ to get their grubby mitts all ova my aforementioned cute little groundhog booTAY. I oughtta bite that finger off ya jackhole — but I’m a luva, not a fighta.

But seriously, top hats? Handlebar mustaches?! C’mon! I just woke up from HIBERNATION people! I’m a wee bit groggy! What’s a brotha gotta do to get a hot breakfast over here?! Maybe a Belgian waffle or two? And a cup of coffee! I’m not a morning groundhog — I can’t match socks before my morning cuppa joe, nevermind predict the changing of the dang seasons! GOSH!

Handlebar mustaches?! WTF?!