If you haven’t heard of him, you don’t know what you’ve been missing.  He’ll go down in the books as the captain of the crabbing vessel “Cornelia Marie” on Discovery Channel’s “Deadliest Catch” – only one of the best shows on TV.  It should not be lost, however, that was also one of the most genuine, bad-ass, mo’-fo’, teddy bears ever.

I hope they’ve got plenty of Red Bull and Marlboro reds in that big ocean in the sky.

And talk about it they did.  It seemed that everyone had some kind of an opinion about it.  Some people told me that seeing it in the theater was a must.  Others said it would’ve been better to watch at home in the dark.  And then there were those people that were just too cool for it and pretended they laughed through the whole thing.  Liars.

Months later, I finally got the Blu Ray from the Netflix and I was oh so totally stoked to check it out.

So Katie and Micah are being haunted by some kind of presence in their condo.  Micah decides to conduct his own little “investigation” and picks up a way over-the-top video camera to try to capture some of the strange things they’ve been experiencing.  And the freaky-deaky begins.

Time and time again Paranormal Activity has been compared to The Blair Witch Project.  The big thing everyone clings to like Conservatives cling to Jesus is that the whole thing is filmed from the perspective of a camcorder.  GASP!  Not that!  But as far as I’m concerned, that’s where the similarities end.

The Blair Witch Project had very little coherent substance.  The plot was very thin and all over the place.  And the characters were deplorable.  The only thing that movie had going for it was that, at the time, it was revolutionary.  Nothing like it had ever been done before.  But that doesn’t make it great, or even good.  That makes it fresh and that’s different.

Paranormal Activity isn’t the first movie of its kind, but it’s far better than its predecessor(s).  The plot isn’t the most thrilling idea out there and sure as H-E-double-hockey-sticks isn’t original.  But it’s put together well.  It’s believable – mostly.  There were a few scenes that genuinely gave me the heebee jeebees.  The special effects are subtle, yet impactful.  And the characters don’t make me wanna claw my eyes out.  Well, I did want Micah to die a dramatic and painful death because he was a serious a-hole and as annoying as “a thick piece of shizz in a shallow bucket”, but I found myself rooting for Katie pretty much throughout so I’ll call that a wash.

(NOTE:  I don’t have any firsthand knowledge of how annoying a thick piece of shizz in a shallow bucket  is exactly, but Urban Dictionary says it’s pretty bad and that’s on the interwebs so it’s gotta be true!)

Long story short: Your girl here went to get a “tattoo” while she was in Belgium. I don’t know if she was high on waffles or what, but she ended up with 56 stars on her face.

According to the article, she had asked for THREE stars and then “fell asleep”. When she woke up, her face was its own constellation. Frivolous lawsuits ensue.

In typical “me” fashion, I have a couple of issues with this little fiasco. First, and perhaps most glaringly obvious, how do you “sleep” through getting ANY kind of tattoo. I’m sorry, but you can’t just sleep through getting a tattoo – especially ON YOUR FACE! I don’t care who you are. And if you even try to suggest that you have, you’re full of flaming bullocks.

Then, in the article, Little Dipper girl here admits that she looks like a “circus freak”.  Yes, yes you do.

UPDATE: Starry Eyed Surprise here has admitted she lied — like we never saw THAT coming.